The Time In The Basement
by CrayCrayTay2
Summary: Emerson Pinciotti has been best friends with her sister's friends for a long time. As Emma and her friends tackle woes from high school and take on crazy adventures, what happens when Emma falls for one of her friends and he starts to fall for her as well?
1. That 70s Pilot

**OUTFITS ARE ON POLYVORE**

 **I ONLY OWN EMERSON 'EMMA' PINCIOTTI**

* * *

 **Point Place, Wisconsin**

 **May 17th**

 **8:47 p.m.**

 **Location: Eric Foreman's Basement**

* * *

Because Eric's parents are having a party, my sister, Donna, and our friends, Kelso, Hyde, and I have been trying to get Eric to go upstairs to sneak us some beers. "Eric, it is time." Hyde said. "Why don't you do it?" Eric asked. "It's your house." Hyde said. "Your house." Kelso echoed. "Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In 10 minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities." Hyde said.

"If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me." Eric argued. Hyde places a hand on his knee. "I'm willing to take that risk." he said. "Don't worry about it. Just remain calm, keep moving…" Kelso started. "And above all, don't get sucked into our dad's hair." Donna said as I nodded in agreement. Our dad just got a perm and let's just say it looks...unique. "What's wrong with your dad's hair?" Eric asked us. "Just don't look at it." I said. "And, Eric…" Hyde started, grabbing Eric's face. "Cold. Definitely cold." Hyde said as he lets go of Eric's face and Eric went upstairs and Hyde plopped himself back on the couch.

We had music playing in the basement. Kelso was doing some invisible air guitar thing and Hyde was looking at a women's magazine. "Check it out." Hyde said, showing the magazine to Kelso, and that caused Donna and I to duck near them. "We see that everyday." Donna and I said in unison. Eric came back downstairs with beers in hand. "He's alive!" Hyde exclaimed.

"Good news. My dad is planning on giving me the Vista Cruiser." Eric said as we are all handed a beer. "You're getting a car?" Kelso asked. Kelso is nice and all, but he's not all the way there. His girlfriend, Jackie Burkhart, had recently started hanging out with us. Jackie is in the same grade as me and I don't like her, yet I don't dislike her. We just...tolerate each other.

"Ooh. Have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Eric?" Donna asked. "No." Eric said with a small smile. It is obvious that Eric has a crush on my sister and that my sister is now forming a small one on him. "You told me he was cute." Kelso said. "No, I didn't." Donna said. "I remember because you said not to say anything in front of Eric." Donna said. "Then, you should've remembered not to say anything in front of Eric." I hissed. "Let's focus what's important here, people. Foreman stole something. To Foreman!" Hyde said. "To Foreman!" we echoed back. "You know what's sad? This is the proudest day of my life." Eric said.

The next day, Kelso, Jackie, Donna, Eric, and I were hanging out in the basement. "Wow, Marcia, a football in the face. That's gotta hurt." Eric said, mimicking the TV. "Ouch! My nose!" Donna said, also mimicking the TV. "That's gonna be huge in the morning." Eric said. "Huger than my boobs?" Donna asked. "Well, bigger than the left one." Eric said. "Why are we watching this without the sound? I am totally confused." Jackie asked. "Here, use the earphone." Eric said, handing Jackie the earphone. "So...what's the deal with the Vista Cruiser?" Kelso asked. "The deal is, there is no deal yet." Eric replied. "Shh!" Jackie hissed. "How are we gonna get to the concert?" Kelso asked, quietly so that Jackie wouldn't hear him. "Shut up!" I hissed. "What concert?" Jackie asked, giving Kelso a look.

"Uh...Todd Rundgren." he said, nervously. "When?" she asked. "This weekend." he replied back, nervousness still etched into his voice. "Oh, who's going?" she asked. "Uh, Eric and Donna and me and Hyde and Emma and the foreign kid, Fez. Pretty much everybody." Kelso said. The look on Jackie's face hardens. "And you." Kelso adds. "Oh, good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Thanks for telling me, Michael!" Jackie snapped. "Well, I'm getting a soda." Eric said. "Me too." Donna and I said in unison. When Kelso tried to get up, Donna shoved him back down as we all went upstairs.

A few minutes later, we went back downstairs and we found Kelso and Jackie making out. "Jackie, I guess you're coming to the concert with us." Eric said. "Yeah! Mmm-hmm. I can't wait." Jackie said, getting off of Kelso, facing Eric before facing back to Kelso. "So, Michael, do you want to come back to my house and listen to Todd Rundgren records?" Jackie asked. "Yeah, sure." Kelso said before they were running out of the basement. "You kids have fun now!" Eric said. "Bye-bye now!" Donna said. "Use protection!" I said. "I'm gonna go back to the house." I said to Donna as I left the basement.

We were now in the Foremans' driveway. Eric was talking to the Vista Cruiser and Donna went up to him. "Eric, it's a car." Donna said. "Let's just leave these two kids alone." Kelso said. "Yeah, good call." I said as we walked away from Eric. Then, my dad came up to Donna and I. "Say, hey there, Donna, Emma." my dad said. "Hey dad." Donna and I said in unison as we hugged him. "Ah, you kids. Standing around the driveway. It's so darn cute." my dad said as he pinched my cheek. "You know, you may not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have." my dad said. "So, it's all downhill from here, sir?" Eric asked. "Yeah." my dad replied as he left, fixing his hair.

"What happened to your dad's hair?" Kelso asked Donna and I. "He got a permanent." Donna said. "So, that's permanent?" Kelso asked Eric. "It's short for perm, genius." I muttered. Later that night, we were all at The Hub. "Michael, who is this guy?" Jackie asked, pointing to Fez. "Oh, that's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student." Kelso replied. "Who do we exchange for him?" Jackie asked and I facepalmed. "Donna, I have to go to the ladies room." Jackie said to Donna, but I could tell that my sister didn't care. "Donna! You too, Emerson." Jackie said. It's a pet peeve of mine whenever someone calls me Emerson, so they just stick with calling me Emma. But apparently, Jackie didn't get it through her head. Donna and I stood up and we went to the bathroom.

* * *

 **3rd POV:**

As soon as Donna, Jackie, and Emma left to go to the bathroom. Hyde and Fez came up to Kelso and Eric. "I, too, must go to the bathroom. Eric?" Fez asked. "No, it….it doesn't work that way with guys." Eric said, making Fez's bright smile falter as he went to the bathroom. "Kelso, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with the whole Jackie experience?" Hyde asked. It was pretty evident that Hyde never liked the Burkhart girl. He was used to both Donna and Emma hanging out with them, but ever since Kelso started dating Jackie, it has been on his nerves ever since.

"Don't worry. I'm breaking up with her." Kelso said. "Never gonna happen." Hyde said, not believing Kelso one bit. "It's over. She's cutting into my free time." Kelso defended himself, but Hyde and Eric don't believe him for one second.

* * *

 **Emma's POV:**

Because Eric got the Vista Cruiser, that means we get to go to the concert. Kelso and Donna are fighting on who gets ride shotgun, but Eric made Kelso ride in the back. I also went in the shotgun seat with Donna. "Taking it for a spin, eh?" I heard Eric's dad ask. "Yes, sir." Eric replied. I know how strict Eric's dad can be on him. "Well, have a good time. Oh, uh….one more thing. Very important. About the car. She's old, so no trips out of town. Ever. Understood? Well….have fun." his dad added.

The concert is in Milwaukee.

How the fuck are we gonna get to the concert now?

"Well, I guess that's that. We're not going." Eric said. "Eric, do you want to go?" Donna asked. "He said no trips out of town." Eric argued. "It's your car. Do you want to go?" Donna counter argued. "He's god." Eric said in defense. "I think God would want us to go to Milwaukee." Kelso said. "Eric, you are a 17-year old man. I'm gonna go with whatever you say. It's your decision." Donna said. "It is my decision. And my decision is….we're going to the concert." Eric said and we all silently cheered.

We picked up Jackie, Hyde, and Fez. Kelso, Jackie, and Fez were in the back and Hyde, Donna, Eric, and I were up front. I was sitting on Hyde's lap because a) there is no room and b) he usually didn't mind. It was going fine, and then something happened to the Vista Cruiser. We all got out of the car and Kelso is convinced that it was the gas ran out.

"I'm telling you, we're out of gas." Kelso said. "We're not out of gas." Eric said. "It's the battery. It's 6 years old and shot to hell." the mechanic said. "I know what. I'll just call my dad." Jackie said. "Kelso, tell her." Eric said. "He can't take the car out of town." Kelso said. "I'm not calling his dad." Jackie said. "Jackie, parents talk to each other about how we screw up." Hyde said. "Why would they talk about that?" Jackie asked. "They can't help it." Eric started as they went into a poor imitation of our parents. "Guys, we are in the middle of nowhere and I have to go to the ladies room." Jackie said, getting her purse. "Donna?" Jackie said. Donna and I exchanged the same look as we followed Jackie into the bathroom.

* * *

 **3rd POV:**

As Donna and Emma left with Jackie, the mechanic working on the Vista Cruiser turns to the remaining members of the group. "So, where you guys going?" the mechanic asked us. "Rundgren concert." Hyde replied. "So….what, you want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery." the mechanic said. "Are they cheap or possibly free?" Eric asked. "$32 minimum." the mechanic replied. "All right, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our battery plus $5 for one of your batteries." Kelso said. "Well, that's a really sweet deal, my friend. But how about this? How about one battery for two concert tickets." the mechanic said. "No, we can't give up two tickets." Kelso said. The mechanic pointed at Eric and Hyde and they were all just silent. "Okay." the mechanic said as he walked away.

"It's either that or none of us go." Eric reasoned. "So who's out?" Kelso asked. "Well, there's always Jackie." Hyde said. "Of course Jackie. I mean, Jackie's gone. But who else?" Kelso asked. "I don't know….Jackie's date?" Eric retorted and all the guys nodded in agreement. "Come on, you know I'm breaking up with her. What about Emma?" Kelso asked.

For some reason, Hyde felt rage when Kelso suggested that they give up Emma's concert ticket. "She doesn't make our heads explode, unlike Jackie." Hyde snapped."You guys are chopping me out!" Kelso exclaimed. "I've had to listen to her for a good hour." Eric said. "A really long hour." Fez adds in. "God hates me." Kelso muttered as he gave Eric his ticket and Jackie's ticket. Eric hands the tickets to Hyde and they walked off to find the mechanic. Fez walks up to Kelso. "How can you say God hates you? At least you have a woman's love. Be happy, whore." Fez said as he followed Eric and Hyde.

* * *

 **Emma's POV:**

I walked out of the bathroom and from the corner of my eye, I saw Hyde give two tickets and I walked up to Hyde and Eric. "What's going on?" I asked. "He's giving us a battery in exchange for two concert tickets." Hyde explained as he puts an arm around my shoulder. "So, who's out?" I asked. "Kelso and Jackie." Eric replied. "I'm fine with it." I said and I know that Donna would be fine with it.

We arrived at the concert and we had such a good time. Donna and Eric were hanging outside on Eric's driveway and I could guess that they would want to be alone.


	2. Eric's Birthday

**REVIEW TIMEE!1**

 **RHatch89: Thanks :)**

* * *

We were all in the basement, watching TV, and then Hyde spoke up. "Does it bother anyone that these women live in Hooterville?" he asked. "Technically, Petticoat Junction is down the track from Hooterville." Eric said. "Okay, does it bother anyone else that they live down the track from Hooterville?" Hyde asked, restating his question. "It bothers me that they bathe in the town's water tank." Donna said. "And with the dog." Kelso added, causing Jackie to stop playing with his hair. "It isn't drinking water." Jackie said. "Still, it's three naked women with a dog." I said. "I want to be the Hooterville dog." Fez said. I gave Hyde a look - knowing that he took Fez under his wing when he was introduced to the group - and he innocently smirked in response.

"Coming down. Now don't mind me. I'm just putting some clothes in." I heard Eric's mom said as she came down to the basement with a load of laundry. "Eric, honey, I thought you could wear this on your birthday. It's nice. You look so handsome in it." she said to Eric, holding up a shirt. "Why would I want to dress nice on my birthday?" he asked. "It's your birthday?" Kelso muttered. "Oh, you never know what's going to happen on your birthday." Mrs. Foreman said. "Mom. Mom, do not throw a party for me." Eric said. "Oh, well, listen to Mr. Popularity. Like I have time to plan you a party." she said as she laughed.

"Oh, by the way, your sister Laurie is coming home from college for the weekend. No special reason. She just is." she added as she went upstairs. "Well, you're getting a party and, best of all, it's a surprise." Donna said. "I just realize that Donna is older than you." Kelso said. "Only by a month." Donna muttered. "Good for you, Eric." Fez said. "Good for me, what?" Eric asked. "In my country, it is good luck to fall in love with an older woman." he said. "Fez. Fez." Eric hissed. "No, they come with livestock." Fez said.

The next day, we were all out on Eric's driveway. The guys are playing basketball and Donna, Jackie, and I were leaning against the Vista Cruiser. "So…." Jackie started, trailing off. "What?" Donna asked. "What are you gonna give Eric for his birthday?" Jackie asked. "I don't know. Nothing seems right. I wanna give him something special." Donna said. "Holy shit! He kissed you, didn't he?" I hissed. "Shh!" my older sister hissed. "Get in the car so we can talk." Jackie said as we went into the Vista Cruiser.

"Okay, what happened?" Jackie asked. "Jackie, maybe Donna doesn't want to talk about it." I said in Donna's defense, and in return, she gives me a thankful look. "Then who is she gonna talk to?" Jackie asked and we turned to see the guys being immature little fucks.

How were they being immature little fucks? They are doing armpit farts, to which I crinkled my nose up.

"Good point." I said. Donna sighed. "Okay. We get home from the Rundgren concert and I'm sitting on the hood of the car and I kissed him." Donna replied. "French or American?" Jackie asked. "I can't believe I'm talking to Jackie about this." Donna whispered to me. "Would you rather talk to them?" I asked, gesturing over to the guys, which in this case, Kelso and Hyde were carrying Fez by the pants and Eric followed them.

"Okay, so….Look, Emma and I have lived next door to Eric our entire lives, and Eric and I talk about everything together. We love the same music, we love the Packers, then I kissed him, and everything changed, now I don't know if he's my boyfriend, or if he's my best friend. If he's my boyfriend, I lose my best friend and if I screw up, I lose my best friend and my boyfriend. Now I have to get him this gift…." Donna starts freaking out.

Never in my life have I seen Donna freak out about boy problems.

"Donna, you are stressing out too much about it." I said. "Emerson's right. Just give him a scented candle." Jackie said. "A scented candle?" Donna asked in confusion. "It's practical and romantic. Oh yeah." Jackie said. I groaned as I put my hands over my ears. "I really don't want to be haunted by the visuals of your's and Kelso's sexcapades." I groaned out. Then, I see Hyde, Kelso, and Fez fighting for the ball. "I'll see you two later. I got to sort those idiots out." I said as I got out of the Vista Cruiser.

I followed Hyde, Kelso, and Fez down into the basement. "Okay, what were you idiots fighting about now?" I asked as I made it downstairs and once I did, I saw Fez and Kelso drooling over Eric's older sister, Laurie. Even though most of the gang, excluding Fez (because he's never met her before) and Kelso (because, well, he's Kelso), hates Laurie, she's actually quite nice and decent towards me, though sometimes, she is a huge bitch. "Hey, Laur." I said to Laurie. "Hey, Em." she replied back as I went over to stand next to Hyde.

"Who's the goddess?" Fez asked Kelso, breathing the question out. "The goddess is Eric's sister." Kelso said, dreamily. "She's not a goddess. She's more of the Earth mother-whore type which works for me." Hyde said. Hyde was probably the only person that I have met that has never thought of Laurie in a sexual way. I hit Hyde in the arm with the back of my hand. "Easy." I muttered.

Eric then came downstairs. "Laurie." Eric said. "Eric." Laurie replied. "Shouldn't you put some clothes on?" Eric asked. "Why?" she asked. "Aren't you a little cold?" he asked. "No. In fact, I'm hot." she retorts back. "Oh, well then why don't you go upstairs?" he asked. "I'm waiting for my jeans to be out of the dryer and I want you to stay off my case. It'll only take me a minute." she said.

"Uh, Laur, I don't know if Kelso is going to last that long." I said, warily, as I looked at Kelso's excited expression. "Give it a rest, Em. It's not like I'm completely naked under this. I'm wearing underwear." Laurie said as she walks over to Kelso. "See." Laurie adds in as she lifted up her UW-Madison sweater and see that she is wearing underwear. "Ay!" Fez sighed out in bliss.

"If we were at the beach, you wouldn't even notice me." Laurie said. "If we were at the beach, Kelso would be in the water right now." Hyde retorts. "So, I understand you have the wagon now. I want to borrow it tomorrow night. I need it." Laurie said. "Okay, but I need a favor." Eric starts. "For you, I don't think so." Laurie said. "Come on." Eric starts as he pushes Kelso onto the couch. "Look, just tell mom I'm too old for surprise parties." Eric said. "But you're the baby, and mama loves her baby." Laurie said in a mocking voice. "If you do it, I'll let you borrow the Vista Cruiser." Eric said. "All night." Laurie compromised. "All night? Fine." Eric settled. "Then it's a deal." Laurie said. "Baby." she adds in, squeezing Eric's cheek and leaving the basement. "Well, I'm going to go now as it is now painfully awkward." I said as I left the basement.

The next day is Eric's birthday. We were all down in the basement. "Look, I know what you're all doing here." Eric said. "What're you talking about, man? We're just hanging out, as always. Except we're dressed nice, but that doesn't mean anything." Kelso said and Jackie just shook her head. "Hi kids. Um, I need your help with something. Jackie, Donna, Michael, Steven, Emma, young man with an accent, could you give me a hand. Not you, Eric." I heard Mrs. Foreman say and all of us, excluding Eric, went upstairs.

The party was going okay. Eric got a 8-track player from his parents and cassettes from Hyde. Donna was about to give her present to Eric, but then was dragged out of the living room. Mr. and Mrs. Foreman left to go over to my parents' house. I decided to tune out the guys' little conversation as I am reading a magazine. Then, Jackie came in. "Oh, Eric, Donna's waiting for you on the porch." Jackie said. "Oh, he is so getting the big gift." Kelso said. I gave Hyde a confusing look. "Don't ask, Em." Hyde said as he puts an arm around me.

All I could think about are the butterflies in my stomach.

Why is my stomach feeling this way?


	3. Streaking

**REVIEW TIMEE!1**

 **RHatch89: Thanks**

 **MiaR: thanks. It is something that I had been thinking for a while and I want the relationship between Hyde and Emma to move slowly, but surely. Emma's face claim is Katherine McNamara**

* * *

"Push! Push! Come on, you gotta push!" Kelso was exclaiming. He found out about some trick that has involved the door and two other people, that being Hyde and Fez. "How much longer?" Hyde asked. "10 seconds. You gotta push harder, or it's not gonna work." Kelso said. "This is so stupid." Hyde stated. "It's not stupid. You're gonna love it." Kelso said. "I'm not gonna love it." Hyde said. "Okay, it's time. Step away from the door." Kelso instructed. They did and when Hyde puts his arms up, Fez does as well. "Kelso, you're a genius." Fez says. "Yeah, well, it's magic." Kelso said and Eric came downstairs.

"Finally! I am so dehydrated." Jackie says. "Here. Piggly Wiggly Diet Cream Soda." Eric says. "I told you my top three choices are Tab, Fresco, or Diet Rite." Jackie said. "Again, you get Piggly Wiggly Diet Cream Soda." Eric restates. "Then, I'll just have water." Jackie says. "You know, there's a hose in the backyard." Donna says. "I've notice that the pop selection has really went downhill since your dad got laid off." Kelso said. "He's not laid off, he's just part-time. And shut up!" Eric defends.

"Kids. Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids." I hear Mrs. Foreman say, repeatedly as she was going downstairs. "The President is coming." she says. "What President?" Eric asked. "The President of the United States, Gerald R. Ford, the 36th, 8th, 40th, I don't know, he's the President!" she replied back. "Why would Ford come to Point Place?" I asked.

"Because we are a whistle-stop along his Wisconsin campaign trail. My dad organized it." Jackie said and Mrs. Foreman turns to her. "Dear, the next time you know that a President is coming to town, please give me a little more notice." she says to Jackie. "I need a vacuum. Eric, you tidy up this basement. A pie! I need to bake a pie!" Mrs. Foreman says as she heads upstairs. "Wow, the President's coming." Eric says. "You know what we should do? That door thing again." Kelso says as the guys got up from their seating positions and went over to the door.

"Settle down, then we'll start the assembly." our principal says. We were now at school and we have to attend an assembly that concerns with the President's visit. "Now, concerning the canned goods drive, motor oil is not a food." he starts off. Everyone booed at that. "I'm sorry, but it's not and all your booing isn't going to make it." he inputs in. "As you all know, President Ford is going to be visiting our fair city. And I know there's some of you ne'er do wells out there that are planning to some sort of quote unquote social statement type protest." he continues.

As he continues to talk, Hyde speaks up. "I can't believe this. Who cares if Ford is coming." Hyde says from beside me. "Look on the bright side. It's better than the Oscar Meyer mobile." I said. "They didn't even stop. They just slowed down and threw a bunch of hot dog whistles at us." Donna agreed. "Two girls in a phallic RV, driving around handing out things you blow. What a great country." Hyde said and I just hit him in the shoulder with the back of my hand as I put my other hand to my mouth to silence my silent giggles.

"And let me tell you another thing, Mr. or Mrs. Punk. Protesting accomplish is nothing…." the principal started as the light bulb above Hyde lights up. "Oh, sure, you might see a chance to prove your manhood or show you're cool…." he continued as the same thing happened to the light bulb above Eric. "But this is our President. Our President, darn it! So no shenanigans, you hear me." he continued and the same thing happened to the light bulb above Kelso. "And if that's your kind of attitude, you might as well just go home as well." he finished and the exit sign above Fez lights up and Fez leaves. I just stand here thinking what the fuck it was all about with the light thing.

The next day, we were in Eric's basement. "Look, guys, we gotta do something that says that we will not pay image to a corrupt electoral system." Hyde says. "I know, a bloody coup!" Fez exclaims. "That's good, but we're looking for something great. Something that will make our Founding Fathers proud, man, you know." Hyde says.

"Let's streak!" Kelso shouts out. "Bingo!" Hyde shouts out as well. "I've always wanted to do that, to run buck naked through a sea of people, be free and shake it around. Alright, who's in?" Kelso asked. When Kelso says 'be free and shake it around', I cringed up at the visuals. "Will people be chasing us with torches and pointy sticks?" Fez asked. "No." Kelso says. "Then, I am in." Fez said as he stands up. "Great!" Kelso exclaims as he now looks over at Eric. "Eric, are you in?" Kelso asked. "Okay, streaking….don't get me wrong, I'm completely pro-nudity, but my dad will kill me and I'm on anti-being killed." Eric said.

"Hey, if there wasn't some huge downside to doing something this stupid, it wouldn't be worth doing, you know?" Hyde said. "Good point" Donna and I said in unison. "Oh, and I could write some really great slogan like 'I Hate The Fuzz' on my ass." Hyde said. "If you hate the fuzz on your ass, then just shave it off." Fez said and we all just look at Fez with silent expressions that tell it all.

After that, Mrs. Foreman told Donna and I that we need to get home because dad needs to tell us something. We went inside our house and we saw dad in a striped jumpsuit. "Pretty snazzy, eh?" my dad asked us. "Looking good, dad." Donna said and I just nod in agreement. "I got one for the both of you too." my dad said. "Wait, what?" I asked in confusion. " We're going to wear them to meet the President." my mom said, coming to my dad's side. "No." my sister and I started in unison. "No way." Donna said. "Girls, you're missing the big picture. Let me get the other jumpsuits." my dad said as he left the kitchen. "Mom, why are you going along with this?" I asked. "Honey, there are lots of things I do to make your father happy that I don't really like." my mom said. Donna and I exchanged looks as we turned back to mom. "Mom, ew!" we said.

"No, not that. I love that. I meant like fishing." my mom said and my dad entered back into the kitchen, carrying a red and white striped jumpsuit and a blue jumpsuit with stars. "See? When we stand together, we're the American flag." my dad said. "There is no way we are wearing striped jumpsuits." I said. "Oh no, honey. You and Donna are going to be the blue." my dad said as he handed us the jumpsuit. "Bye now." Donna said as she left and I followed her and we got ready for school.

The day went by quick and Eric, Donna, and I are now at lunch. "All this food for 45 cents is unbelievable." Fez says, dreamily, as he sat down next to Donna. I just sighed as I went back to eating my lunch. "So, Foreman…" Hyde started as he took his seat by me and Kelso sat by Hyde. "The rally's tonight. What's your decision?" Hyde asked. "Yeah. Are you gonna streak or not?" Kelso asked. "Don't pressure him." Donna says, coming to Eric's defense. "No. I've been doing some thinking. I'm in." he said and the two boys by my left silently cheered.

"Well, you're gonna look like a bunch of idiots." Donna said. "A bunch of naked idiots." Kelso added. "Thanks, Kelso." Eric said to him. "Look, we must keep this quiet. It can't go beyond this table." Eric said as I leant closer to Hyde's shoulder. "If my dad finds out what we did, he'll nail me to the wall." he said and we all froze. It was silent until I heard Jackie. "Why are you all sitting on one side of the table? Huh?" she asked, but instead, we all ignored her.

Later on in the afternoon, we were all on the Foremans driveway. Kelso, Hyde, Fez, and Eric were already wearing nothing but boots and trench coats while Donna and I are standing idly by. "Okay, when the President starts his speech here, I'll blow my Oscar Meyer whistle and we go. "Did you right "I Hate The Fuzz" on your butt?" Eric asked. "Yeah." Hyde said as he pulls out my lipstick. "Emma, here's your lipstick back." Hyde said, handing over to me, but I blocked it with my hand. "Just keep it." I said and Hyde puts the lipstick back in his pocket. "You got the masks?" Eric asks again. "Yeah, we got three Snoopys and one Nixon." Hyde replied. "Not it!" Hyde, Kelso, and Hyde exclaimed, putting their fingers on top of their noses. "Damn. Fez, how'd you learn to do that?" Eric asked. "My country invented "not it"." Fez said. "So, can we go already? I'm itching to release the hound." Kelso said. "It's go time." Hyde said as the guys put their fists together then Mrs. Foreman came out.

"Oh, wow, look at you guys. What is it with you young people and columbo?" she asked. "Bye." Eric said as him and the guys walk off. "Aren't you two going, girls?" Mrs. Foreman asked. "No." Donna said, saying that for the both of us. "Our dad is trying to make us wear these really weird jumpsuits." I explained to Mrs. Foreman. "We don't know if we could do it. It's just too embarrassing." Donna added.

"You know, Donna, Emma, my grandmother came from Sweden and she had this thick, thick accent that embarrassed me, and I told her not to come to my high school graduation, because I didn't want my friends to hear her talk. And she didn't come. Sixteen years later, she got the gout and died. You see?" Mrs. Foreman told us. "No." Donna and I said in unison. "All families are embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing, then they are dead." Mrs. Foreman said.

After what Mrs. Foreman said, Donna and I decided to go to the rally to join our parents. We were wearing the identical jumpsuits that dad had shown us. "Are you sure we should be doing this?" I asked. "You know it's for dad, Em." Donna said. "Yeah. And if Hyde sees me in this, he won't shut up about it for the next several months." I said. "Come on. Let's get this over with." Donna said as we walked towards our parents, who look very pleased to see us. Donna stood by my dad and I stood by Donna. It was silent and then my dad spoke up. "Now, if we start to sway back and forth, it'll look like the flag is waving in the wind." my dad said as we all started swaying. It went on for minutes and then Mr. Burkhart, Jackie's dad, told us to take our seats. I sat down between Mrs. Foreman and my mom. "Ladies and gentlemen, our President of the United States, Gerald R. Ford!" Mr. Burkhart announced as the President did a repetition of walking and falling.

He even did it on the podium.

I turned and I saw Hyde sitting behind me along with Kelso and Fez. "What the hell happened?" I asked, whispering so that my parents won't hear me. "None of us could do it, Emma." Hyde replied back, also whispering. "Aww…" I said, sarcastically. "Shut it." Hyde hissed. I just chuckled at that. "What's with the jumpsuit?" Hyde asked, whispering. "I'm a flag. Be jealous." I said. "Oh, yeah. I'm green with envy alright." Hyde said, sarcastically and I just smirked in amusement.

"Now, it's time for the Q&A portion of our program. First up, I'd like to introduce Red Foreman. Red is the father of two children and how he managed to keep them clothed and fed while being cut back to part time at the plant is beyond me. Now, he doesn't blame the for his misfortune, no sir, he only blames himself. I give you Red Foreman." Mr. Burkhart introduced and we all clapped for Mr. Foreman. He awkwardly comes up to the podium.

"Uh….Mr. President….I, uh….I, uh….." Mr. Foreman got out. "Come on, Red." Mr. Burkhart goaded. After a while, from the corner of my eye, I saw Eric go into a corner and he comes out stark naked with the Nixon mask on. I couldn't see anything because Hyde was covering my eyes. "Wee wee pee pee!" I heard Eric exclaiming and then I heard screaming and then I heard a door shut. "All clear." I heard Hyde mutter into my ear as he uncovers my eyes.

I let out a breath. "He actually fucking did it." I hissed out. "Hey, Jerry, here's my question. How the hell did you pardon Nixon?" Mr. Foreman asked and we all applauded for his question.


	4. Battle of the Sexists

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"I'm waiting." Jackie says as we were all sitting around the basement. "Forget it." Eric says. "Just say it, and she'll go home." Hyde said. Eric said how Bruce Lee can kick The Fonz's ass and that had made Jackie pissed. "Fine. You're right, Jackie. The Fonz could beat up Bruce Lee." Eric said. "Thank you." Jackie said with a smile as she turns her attention to Kelso. "Now, Michael, call tonight at 8:00." she says. "But that's when Chico and the Man is on." Kelso said. "I know. But I like how you describe it to me. Oh...do your Chico impersonation." she says. "I don't think these guys and Emma really don't want to hear my Chico…" he started, but we gave him the go-ahead. He did an okay impersonation of Chico and Jackie squealed. "I love it! I love it!" she continued to squeal as she went upstairs.

"Hey, Kelso, quick question. Why can't you date someone a little less annoying?" Eric asked, getting a drink out of the fridge. "Like who?" Kelso asked. "What about Barbara Vanson?" Eric asked. "Please, she is just annoying as Jackie." I stated as Hyde sat on his usual chair and he pulled me onto his lap. "Yeah, but her boobs are huge." Hyde said and I hit him on the shoulder with the back of my hand. "Do you find this annoying?" Hyde asked as he showed Kelso a magazine full of naked women and Kelso now has his signature dumb smirk on his face. "Pam Macy. Now, she has some knockers, baby." Kelso says and I glared over at Kelso hard and Hyde tightened his hold on me.

Everyone knows how much I loathe Pam Macy. She thinks that she could get away with everything just because of how she looks and how big her boobs are. That absolutely makes me sick to my stomach. "True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's." Hyde said. "And Barbara's a little less shallow than Pam Macy." I said, saying Pam's name venomously. "Yeah, they are." Kelso said, ignoring my statement. "You're dreaming. It's like comparing exodus and deuteronomy, both of which had taught us very important lessons." Eric said, quickly changing the subject when his dad came in.

"Oh, hi dad." Eric said. "Damn dryer's broke. Ah, nuts, I need my vice grips." Red replied as he exited the basement. As soon as the guys were talking about Pam again, I just got out of Hyde's lap and I left the basement.

The next day, I was having lunch with my family. "Well, I got to get back to work." my dad said as he turns to my mom. "Midge, this table's a little wobbly. Stick some sugar packets under it, will you?" he says as he left. As soon as my dad left, the phone rang and my mom answered it. "Hello?" she answered and I could tell that someone was talking on the other line. "Donna or Emma?" she asked. Donna and I looked at each other, fully knowing who is on the phone. "Donna, it's for you." my mom said, handing Donna the phone.

"Hello?"

"So, I beat Eric at basketball. What's the big deal?"

"Yeah, and Tony never would have been killed in that knife fight."

"No. Don't worry about it. Someone will stab Eric. Bye."

And then Donna hangs up the phone.

"Honey, I think your's and Emma's annoying friend is right." my mom said. "So, Donna beat Eric at basketball. So what?" I said. "Certain things change." my mom replied. "Eric and I have been playing games our whole lives. Sometimes he wins, and sometimes I win." Donna replied. "No, I mean the rules change. Women have to pretend to be weak and fragile so that men could feel superior." my mom said and then I thought back on that day at the basement when Hyde, Eric, and Kelso were objectifying women.

"That's insane. If women don't learn how to stand up for themselves, men will always control the world." Donna said. "Preach." I said, pointing at Donna. "Oh, honey, men don't control the world." my mom said and then my dad came back into the kitchen. "Okay. I'll see you later." my dad said, but as soon as he was about to leave, my mom stops him. "Honey, can you open this jar for me?" she said, holding a jar of pickles out. "Sure thing, Puddin'." my dad said as a little while later, he finally opened the jar.

"Oh, I'm so lucky to have my big, strong, grizzly bear around." my mom said as my dad roared. Donna and I looked at each other before I facepalmed and finally my dad left. "First of all, yuck!" I started off. "Second, things don't even work like that anymore. That's what the equal rights amendment is for." Donna continued. "That's good, dear, you stick to your principles. And in 40 years from now, you can tell all your cats about how you won a basketball game.

Later on that day, Jackie called me to tell me what had happened over the phone with her and Kelso and Donna had told me about an argument that her and Eric got into. Jackie and I entered The Hub and we spotted Kelso, Hyde, and Fez. "Michael...we need to talk." Jackie said, walking over by the checkout booth, but Kelso didn't follow her. "And I am over here." Jackie said. "Oh, God, what am I gonna do?" Kelso asked. "Well, you could...and I know this is a radical suggestion, but, um…, be a man?" Hyde suggested and I rolled my eyes. "You're right, Hyde. No more excuses." Kelso said as he walked over by Jackie. "She will crush him, yes?" Fez asked. "Oh, yeah." I replied. "Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers." Hyde said. "My forefathers were not Mayan." Fez says. "Like anyone cares." Hyde says as we were seeing the usual relationship drama from Jackie and Kelso unfold.


	5. Eric's Burger Job

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I held my head in my hands as Jackie had repeated the guitar solo in Peter Frampton's 'Do You Feel The Love Like We Do?". She had been doing that for the past hour and a half. "Ooh, ooh! I just want to hear the guitar solo one more time." Jackie said, going over to the record player. We all groan when she said that. "Not again. Use the headphones." Hyde groaned out. Jackie plugged in the headphones and put them on. "Good. Now wrap the cord around your neck." Hyde growled as I put an arm in front of him. "Down, boy." I said.

"Hey, would you guys respect me if I worked at the town dump?" Eric asked. "The town dump, no. But the state dump…" Donna said, trailing off. "You've been so hellbent looking for a part-time job. Why?" I asked. "Everything costs money: gas, clothes, fun." Eric lists off. "Dates. Dates cost money." Kelso adds in. "No, Kelso, that is prostitution." Fez said. "Dating is prostitution, man, only you don't always get what you pay for." Hyde said. "Said the man who's never had a girlfriend?" Donna retorted back. "What, you guys don't remember Esther, the biker chick?" Hyde asked. I felt a twinge in my stomach when he said that. "Aw, whatever happened to her?" I asked, snidely.

Why was I feeling so spiteful over some chick?

"She's dating my uncle." Hyde answered back. That twingy feeling in my stomach went away when he said that. "Well, Emma and I are going home for dinner." Donna said as we got up. "Our mom and dad are going to the playboy club in Lake Geneva this weekend. Anybody want any souvenirs?" I asked. "Ooh, astrays/A woman." Hyde and Fez said in unison. "Your guys' parents are gonna be out of town? Really?" Jackie was asking. "Yeah, I'll be babysitting my sister, Tina, all weekend." Donna said. "Who is barely even home." I muttered under my breath.

It is only a rare time when Tina was ever home. But other than that she would mostly spending time over at one of her friends' house. "Say, Emma, you wanna spend the weekend over at my house?" Jackie asked me and I know what she was doing.

She was planning on having Donna be alone in the house so Eric would come over.

But, Eric wasn't getting it.

"Yeah, sure." I replied back. "So, it's just gonna be me...alone...watching TV. I might order a pizza." Donna said, hoping Eric would buy it, but he doesn't even look up from the job offerings. "I have an idea!" Kelso exclaimed before making his way over to Donna and I. "We'll have a party at Donna and Emma's. A toga party!" Kelso said, excitedly. "Michael? Michael, maybe Donna doesn't want to throw a party. Maybe she wants to be alone." Jackie said. "Yeah, just me, alone. If someone happens to stop by, that'd be really cool." Donna said, but Eric wasn't looking up. I was glaring at Eric how he wasn't knowing that Donna is gonna be alone at our house.

"So, we're on. I'll bring the beer." Kelso said and I rolled my eyes. "Donna, Emma, I've never been to an American party. Can I come?" Fez asked. It's like they're ignoring the fact that I bought in to stay over at Jackie's so Donna could be alone with Eric. "Uh, yeah. I don't care." Donna said, still looking at Eric. "So, Eric, are you gonna be there?" I asked. "Yeah, yeah. Sounds fun." Eric says. "Cool, cool, catch you guys later." Donna said. "I'll meet up with you later." I said to Donna as she left the basement.

"Whoo-hoo-hoo! Party at Donna and Emma's." Kelso celebrated and Jackie smacked both Kelso and Eric upside the head. "You two are so stupid!" she exclaimed. "Ow! Why?" Eric asked. Jackie stormed out of the basement. I was glaring at Eric and Kelso so hard that if looks could kill, they would be in ashes. "Well, this is a first. I actually agree with Jackie." Hyde said. "At least you caught on." I said to him. "What, you're saying that I'm stupid?" Eric asked. "Donna just put on the full-core press, man, and you drop the ball." Hyde said. "Eric, our parents are gone for the weekend, I am staying over at Jackie's for said weekend, Donna is going to be alone in our house." I let on.

"Yeah, I get it. All she said was that she'd be alone Saturday night with a pizza…" Eric started but then realization flashed across his face. "Oh, my God, I am so stupid." he says. "That was why I was staying over at Jackie's." I snapped as I left the basement to eat dinner with my family.

After I ate dinner, Donna and I went back down in the basement and it was just Hyde and I. "So, big party at your house Saturday night." Hyde said. "Whoopee!" she and I said, sarcastically. "I can't believe Forman missed all of those signals." Hyde said. "I actually have to restrain myself from castrating him." I said. "What signals?" Donna asked. "Oh no, poor me. All alone in my big house. Just me and my nightie. If only if there was some scrawny, little neighbor boy here." Hyde said in a feminine voice.

"He's not scrawny." Donna said, defending Eric. "You and I both know that Eric is the definition of scrawny." I said to Donna. "Why am I even talking to you?" Donna asked Hyde. "I'm all you got." Hyde said and Donna turns to me. "You spend too much time with him." she says. I just shrug. "Oh, God. Everybody knows!" Donna groaned out laying down on the couch. I got up just in time. "I'm afraid so." Hyde said. "I just want to spend time with him alone and now I can't." Donna said, now laying down on the couch like what the patients at therapy do. Hyde grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap and I leaned over to grab a pencil.

"And how does that make you feel?" Hyde asked. "Frustrated. It's frustrating as hell. I mean, I really put myself out there. I see, and do you ever have trouble sleeping at night?" Hyde asked. "Sometimes, yeah, I do." Donna replied. "How would you feel if you had a scrawny, little neighbor boy up next to you?" Hyde asked and Donna just glared at Hyde in return.

Because of the party, I was staying home for the weekend. "We expect you two to be responsible when we're out of town." my mom started. "No parties." my dad inserted in. "And I want you two to be nice to your sister. Don't make Tina eat dirt. I mean it." my mom said. "It was one time, I swear." I whispered to Donna. "And no boys. They only want one thing. It's a dirty, dirty thing they want. Enough said." my dad adds in and then Eric came over by us. "Hey, looking sharp, Eric. You gonna be around this weekend?" my dad asked. "Yes, sir." Eric replied. "Good, make sure no guys are hanging around Donna and Emma, capisce?" my dad asked as him and my mom went inside. "Well, I'm gonna go inside as this became really awkward." I said as I went inside as well.

Over the next few days, we couldn't hang out with Eric that much because of his job at Fatso Burger. Hyde has an idea where him, Fez, Jackie, Kelso, and I can visit Eric at his job. "Hear, hear, my minimum-wage friend. I demand service." Hyde said as Jackie and Kelso found a place to sit down. "Welcome to Fatso Burger. How may I serve you?" Eric asked. "That is so sad, burger boy." Hyde said as we order our food.

Later on that night is the party. I was in my backyard in my usual seat on Hyde's lap as Donna was across from us. "Toga! Toga! Toga!" I heard Kelso yell out and I looked up and Kelso came towards us with Jackie by his side and a beer in his hand. His look drastically changed when he found out that we were wearing normal clothes instead of togas. "Hey, man, nice dress." Hyde said. Kelso gave him an exasperated look. "You brought four beers, meathead?" Hyde asked. "We'll share." Kelso said. Hyde tapped my waist and I got up and grabbed a can of beer and Hyde and Donna grabbed one as well. "Here's to the wasted youths." I said as we all opened our beers.

"Hey, Fez." I said as Fez came over by us. "Good evening, Emma. Which of these ladies are easy?" he asked. "Donna, Emma, some of your creepy friends are using dad's stereo." Tina told Donna and I as she walked towards us. "Ah, looks like someone's home for a change." I muttered under my breath. "You guys, no one's allowed in the house." Donna called back to the people who are in the house. "Hello, pretty lady." Fez flirted. "Hi." Tina flirted back and giggled. "She's not a pretty lady, she's our sister. And she's 14." Donna said. "You know, in my country…" Fez started. "It's illegal here." Hyde cuts in. "Oh, I see." Fez said, sadly as Tina walked away from us.

"I'm miserable, this party sucks." Donna said. "You know what will make you feel better? A scrawny, little neighbor boy." Hyde said. He is never gonna let that one up. "Why don't you go visit him and I'll make sure that shit doesn't hit the fan." I said. "Thanks, Em." Donna said. "Sure thing." I said back as she left to go visit Eric. "Let's make sure the kids behave." Hyde said as he sits down in his chair and I sat down in his lap. "Enough said." I muttered back.

The party was coming to a close and the beer was now all gone. "So, what do you know, Kelso, we're out of beer." Hyde said. "You know, Forman's old man's got a fridge in the garage and I know he's got beer in it. I got out of his lap as him, Fez, and Kelso left the yard.

I swear, I'm friends with idiots.


	6. The Keg

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 **Point Place, Wisconsin**

 **Friday Afternoon, 1976**

 **1:55 p.m**

"Why are we moving?" I heard Hyde say as him and Kelso got up, but I was still laying across his lap. "Em, wake up." he said, shaking me, gently, awake. I opened my eyes and got up as well. "What are you guys doing in here?" Eric asked. "Let me rephrase that. What are _you_ guys doing here? You're a wimp when it comes to ditching class." I said to Eric. "Well, I cut class." he says. "Yeah, right. So what was there, like a fire drill or something?" Hyde asked, getting in the front seat. "No. Look, I do bad things." Eric says. "Do you? Do you really?" I asked, sarcastically as everybody laughed. "I've ditched class before." Eric said. "Oh, no. Is Opie getting angry?" Kelso taunted as he messed up Eric's hair. "What did I tell you about calling me Opie?" Eric said to Kelso. "Opie, look out for that keg in the middle of the road!" Donna exclaimed as Eric slammed down on the brakes hard. And that's when we saw it.

There was, indeed, a keg in the middle of the road.

The best part was that it looked like it has never been used before.

"Wow." Donna and I muttered in unison. "It _is_ a keg." Eric said. "Of beer." Kelso added. "It must be a sign." Hyde said. "Of beer." Kelso said. "Oh, that's it. I'm cutting class every day." Eric says. We had loaded the keg into the Vista Cruiser and we go right back to Eric's house.

"How did you find it?" Fez asked as Kelso and Hyde was carrying the keg of beer into the basement. "Driving down the road, man, and there she was." Hyde grunted out. "Oh, it was a beer in the headlights." Fez said as he laughed. "That is my first American joke." he adds in. "Wow. How often do you find a mysterious keg of free beer?" Eric asked in astonishment. "Only once in awhile." Kelso replied. "You're right, Foreman, man. You are absolutely right. When God gives you a keg, you gotta…" Hyde started. "Kill a virgin." Fez cuts in.

"Fez, sweetie, no. I don't think that's what Hyde was talking about." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Emma's right. We throw a party." Eric said with a smirk. "Go for it, Eric." Donna said, patting Eric on the back. "Yeah, we'll throw a party. Charge 2 bucks ahead." Eric said. "A keg is equivalent to seven cases. That's 168 beers. If we each drink three beers a piece…" Kelso started. "No way. Sophomores gonna drink one, maybe." Hyde cuts in. "True." I mused in. "And the freshmen, he gonna drink a half." Hyde said. "That averages out to 1.5 beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people and that's $224" Kelso continued to explain. "Cash." Hyde mused in. "Which is…" Kelso started. "Decent." they ended in unison.

"Okay, grab some ice out of the deep freeze, I'll grab the tub. "Oh, that is one sweet mama." I heard Fez say as Eric went to get the tub and Hyde and I went to get the ice. "Hey, gang." I heard Mrs. Foreman say. I heard the curtains close as Hyde and I came back with the ice. "Oh, don't mind me. Just came down to do an emergency presoak on my nurse's uniform." she said as she puts the uniform in the washing machine. "You remember Mr. Wilbur, the fireman? Well, he came in with a sebaceous cyst, which is a, um, a pocket of fluid that's kind of like a pus-ey bath oil bead…" Mrs. Foreman continued and I just zoned her out and then, Eric came out.

"Well, hi, Snicklefritz. What are you doing with the tub?" she asked. "Oh. The tub. We were just...w-working on a class project." Eric said. "We're making a volcano." Hyde says as we put the ice in the tub. "Snicklefritz." Hyde added in. "Out of ice? Well, I think it would might melt." she said as she laughed. "Well, you heard her. Let's move it, gang." Eric said. "Okay, well, you have fun." Mrs. Foreman said as she went back upstairs.

"Guys, we gotta get that keg out of here." Eric said. "Well, where are we gonna have the party?" I asked. "Beats me. If you guys need me, I'll be with Jackie over at our secret make-out place." Kelso said as he was going towards the door. "Secret make out place." Donna muttered to Eric. "It's this vacant house over on Sherman. I mean, this place is great. It's totally private. You can get away with about anything there. So if you guys need a place for that keg, let me know." Kelso said as he left. Donna checked her watch and I pointed my finger and on cue, Kelso came back. "I got an idea." he said.

Donna and I left our house with all the plastic cups and we made it over at the place that Kelso said that was his and Jackie's secret make-out place. "Michael, this is our secret make-out place. I did not swipe the key from my mother's real estate office so you could have a party." Jackie complained as Kelso was kissing her neck. "I know, it's like a bonus." Kelso said as he took a break from sucking on Jackie's neck. "I'm doing it for you, baby." he crooned as he went back to kissing her neck. "Oh. Well, okay." she said, hesitantly. Kelso brought up a fist, signalling that it was fine.

"Where's Fez?" Hyde asked me and I pointed up where Fez was sitting. "He wouldn't get in because he just ate and believes he'll get cramps." I said. "The pool is empty though." he said. "That's what I said." I said. "I don't care what you ate, Fez. Get in the pool now!" Hyde demanded. "If I get a cramp, it will be on your head." Fez said as he was now getting in the pool.

"Okay. Hurry up and drink your keg." Jackie said. "Hurry and drink a keg?" Hyde asked, growling. "One does not simply drink a keg." I shot back. "Jackie, will you just mellow out? I mean, this rules. We got a keg and soon enough, everybody's gonna be here." Kelso said. "Everybody?" Jackie asked. "Everybody that matters and for the first time, Jackie, that includes you." Eric said as we all went in for a group hug. "Get away from me!" Jackie yelled. "You heard her. Let's drink beer." Hyde said as we all went towards the keg.

"Me first." Kelso said. "No way, I spotted it." Donna said. "I saw it, too. I just didn't say anything." Kelso said. "You saw a keg and didn't say anything?" Hyde asked, getting pissed off. I put a hand on his arm to calm him down. "Back of the line!" Hyde exclaimed as Eric pushed Kelso behind him. "All right, how do you get the beer out?" Eric asked. "Through the tap." Hyde said. "What tap?" Eric asked.

We don't have a fucking tap!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hyde cried out as he was now hunched over the keg. I just placed a hand on Hyde's back, knowing how he was with his beer.

"Okay, we really need a tap here." Hyde said, getting up from his position of being over the keg. "I got my Swiss Army Knife." Kelso said, getting the knife out. "Great idea, Kelso. We just whittle the beer out." I said, sarcastically, fully knowing that if you use a Swiss Army Knife on a keg, you don't get the full effect of the beer. "Look, they sell taps at the liquor store." Donna said. "But who's gonna buy it?" I asked and that's when all eyes are on Jackie, who is looking really bored.

"Why would I bring money to our secret make-out place, Michael?" Jackie asked Kelso. "Okay, I got my gas money." Eric said, bringing his money out. "No, Eric, we're not taking your gas money." Donna said. "Hey, it doesn't matter. By the end of the night, we'll have made over $200." Eric said. "Yeah." Kelso said, excitedly. "Michael, how are we gonna make $200?" Jackie asked. "I don't know." Kelso replied. "Well, who's gonna buy the tap?" I asked. "You buy, I fly." Kelso said, taking the money and getting out of the pool, despite Jackie's efforts to get him to stay.

That happened as everybody decided to show up. Hyde lifted me up and we got out of the pool with Donna following us and Fez was being handed money and Jackie and Eric were talking. I sat down on the side of the pool with Hyde and Donna, as I was sitting in between them. "He's lying to Jackie, man. I lie to Jackie." Hyde said. "You know, it seems to me that the scrawny little neighbor boy is willing to engage in criminal acts for the saucy redhead next door." Hyde said, looking at Donna. "Shut up. How do you know he's not doing it to impress his friends?" Donna asked. "So...like beer pressure? I don't buy it." I said. "And besides, his friends aren't saucy." Hyde said. "Kelso's saucy." Donna said. "Kelso? Please. I'm saucier than Kelso." Hyde defended himself. I looked at him with an eyebrow arched. "True." I said.

As on cue, Kelso got back from the liquor store, but something had caught my eye. "What the fuck happened to the tap?" I asked and Hyde, Donna, and I got back into the pool to see the broken tap. "It's broken." Donna said, voicing out my thoughts. "I got duct tape." Kelso said, holding out the duct tape. "Duct tape? Do you know how much pressure runs through that tap?" Hyde asked. "I got a whole roll of duct tape." Kelso said. "You are such an idiot." I mused before Hyde and I turned to Eric.

"Foreman, you need to get your dad's tap, now." Hyde said. "Red doesn't have a tap." Eric said. "Your dad's got bicentennial swizzle sticks, fake lemons with real lemon juice, he's got toothpicks shaped like swords…" I listed off. "What Emma is trying to say is that Red Foreman is a cocktail dad and cocktail dads have beer taps." Hyde said. "Come on, Eric, we never ask you for anything." Kelso said. "Really?" I asked, sarcastically, raising my eyebrows. "You guys ask me for everything!" Eric exclaimed. "So what's one more thing?" Kelso asked and I just rolled my eyes and I felt Hyde's hand on my shoulder. "No. Forget it. I've done enough for today already. Count me out." Eric said.

"Ugh, why the hell are _they_ here?" I asked, gesturing to Destroy and Give-Back, who are two dumb jocks. I swear that I always caught those two either staring at my boobs or my ass, Destroy being the worst. I felt Hyde rub my shoulders to calm me down. "Hey, Kelschmo. What, your tap is broken? Why did you do something stupid like buy a stupid broken tap? What are you, stupid?" Destroy was asking Kelso. "It wasn't broken until you broke it." Kelso said. "Oh, man." Destroy said. "Don't beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing. Anyway, we gave it back." Give-Back said. "Yeah, broken." Eric said. "Hey, lay off him, all right? He feels bad enough already." Give-Back replied back.

"He should because he's a moron." Eric said. "What did you say?" Give-Back asked. "Are you two deaf or something?" I asked, glaring at them and musing it out. "Shut up, Emma. You are so lucky that you are hot." Destroy said. Hyde went to lunge at them, but I sat him back down. "I said that you are both morons. What are you gonna do? You gonna beat me up? You weigh 400 pounds together. It doesn't matter. The fact is the tap is broken, and it's your fault. Morons!" Eric said. "You are so rude." Destroy said. "Give us our $4 back." Give-Back said. As soon as Eric was going to call for Fez, I stopped him.

"No, Eric. Allow me. This is 2-years worth of justice." I told him as I got the money out of the bucket Fez has and I stood in front of Destroy and Give-Back. I ripped the money in front of their faces. "I think this belongs to you two." I said, throwing the money at them and they stormed out of the pool. "Wow, Emma. You just tore their money. Then you gave it back. It was great." Donna said as we were mocking Destroy and Give-Back. "But enough of this levity wench." Eric piped up as he climbed the ladder of the pool. "We came here to have a party and as God is my witness, there will be a party." Eric said. "Huzzah!" We all were exclaiming.

The party was in full swing, despite the keg. "Everybody in the deep end. My mother is showing the house." Jackie said as she got into the pool. "Now?" Donna asked. "People work." Jackie said, casting Donna a glare. "Pipe down, everybody!" I exclaimed as the music was turned off. "The deck is quite new, and this lovely tile walkway leads directly to the pool…" I heard Mrs. Burkhart say but then she paused. "...which is filled with some of the local kids. Heavily caucasian. It's a nice neighborhood." Mrs. Burkhart trailed off as we felt the awkwardness. Shortly after that, Mr. Foreman came with my dad. Everybody had ran out of the pool as the cops came by them.

Eric came back a few moments after that happened. "I stole my dad's tap." Eric said and then he turned around and his smile had dropped. "Back from those thieves." Eric made up. Mr. Foreman had Eric got to one side to talk to him and my dad pulled Donna and I to another side. "We were worried sick…" my dad started. "You had us driving all over town…" Mr. Foreman said. "We missed Rich Man, Poor Man…" my dad continued. "Excuse us, Red." Hyde said as him and Kelso went towards the keg. "What are you doing?" Mr. Foreman asked. "We're just gonna grab this keg." Kelso said. "Get out of here!" Mr. Foreman exclaimed and Hyde and Kelso just walked away, leaving the keg. "We're not finished with this…" Mr. Foreman said, turning back to Eric. "Neither will we." my dad said. "Now, you take them home. And you wait for me. That's an order." Mr. Foreman said. "Ditto." my dad agreed. "It's okay, Mr. Foreman. I already got someone taking me home." I said. Donna and I were about to leave and then my dad called us back over. "I can't stay mad at you two with those cute faces." my dad said as he hugged the both of us. It was silent until Mr. Foreman broke it. "Get your ugly butt home." he said as Eric, Donna, and I left the pool.

I was in my room and then I heard a knock on my window. I looked over and it was Hyde. "Coast clear?" Hyde asked as I opened my window. "Just come on in." I said as he snuck in. "Some party that was." Hyde said, plopping down on my bed. "You're just upset that we couldn't have the keg." I said as lay down on my bed as well. "Well, at least I got highlight of my night. I got to see the saucy redhead's feisty, sassy little sister be a cute badass." Hyde said as I just rolled my eyes as he kissed my forehead. My face was beet red. "You should go. I know that my dad might killed you after what happened." I said as he got up to my window. "And by the way, Hyde?" I called out. "Yeah?" he asked.

"I am more saucier than you, Donna, and Kelso combined." I said to him and he smirked. "You know what, I'm not gonna take any offense to that." he said as he left my room. "Night, Hyde!" I called out as I closed my window.


	7. That Disco Episode

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 **Point Place, Wisconsin**

 **Thursday, 1976**

 **4:15 p.m.**

 **Eric Forman's Basement**

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"The game is Anaconda." Eric began to explain as we all sat in a circle. "Big Ace, 8-Ball, Red Lady, Jackson, High Brow, Wildman…" Eric listed off as he was handing out the cards and then Jackie spoke up. "Oh, my God, Michael! They opened up a disco!" Jackie exclaimed. "Where at?" Kelso asked. "In Kenosha. You could wear your David Bowie butthuggers." Jackie said, causing Kelso to smile. "Michael, that'd be super!" Hyde cheered, sarcastically. "Laugh if you want man, but my butt looks pretty good in those." Kelso said. "Are you guys crazy? A disco? No way." Eric said. "I don't know. It might be fun to go dancing." Donna said. "Or we could go." Eric said, quickly changing his mind. "I got nothing. I fold." Kelso said. "Well, if you're out, go make some popcorn." Hyde said and Jackie was dancing and I leaned back into Hyde to get out of her way. "Take her too." I said as Kelso went upstairs with Jackie, who had danced her way upstairs.

"What is disco?" Fez asked. Hyde probably didn't tell Fez about disco music because he hates it with a passion. "Disco is from hell, okay? Not the cool part of hell with all the murders, but the lame-ass part where the accountants live." Hyde explained. Donna looks over at Kelso's cards and so do I. "Excuse me, what are you two doing?" Eric asked me. "Looking at Kelso's cards." we said, innocently. "That's cheating." he said. "Eric! I can't find the popcorn!" I heard Jackie exclaim from upstairs.

Eric was about to leave but stopped in his tracks. "Hey, uh, Donna, why don't you take a look at my cards so you don't have to wait for me to leave." Eric said and while Donna keeps refusing, Eric keeps insisting until she looked at the cards. "You got nothing." she stated. "Yeah, and I'm about to bluff, so watch out." he said as he went upstairs and Donna just rolled her eyes.

"Donna has stuff for Eric, yes?" Fez asked. "Not stuff, a thing. Donna has a thing for Eric." I said as I smirked over at her. "Why do you have a thing for Eric?" Hyde asked. "He makes me laugh, he doesn't ask me stupid questions, he's smart, you know." Donna said, trailing off. "Well, I don't know." Hyde said. "I know." Fez says, raising his hand. "It is because Eric is noble and a woman wants her first love making to be in the arms of the man she can trust." Fez said and we all laughed at that. "Fez...go make popcorn." Donna said as he stood up to go upstairs to make popcorn.

 **3rd POV:**

Steven Hyde had made up the mind that he wasn't going to the Disco. "Man, I can't believe you and Jackie are dragging everyone to the disco." Hyde said as he threw the spring in the garbage. "It's so sad." he added in. "I'm just going to meet Kenosha chicks. I'm breaking up with Jackie." Kelso said, but Hyde and Fez knew that it was a lie. "Oh, get a tall chick. Because you and Jackie look so silly together." Fez said as him and Hyde laughed. Eric came by to throw the aluminum cans away.

"Okay, that's all the debauched bottles and the aluminum cans. We need at least $1.15 worth of gas." Eric said. "Come on, my dad's got a ton of empties." Kelso said as Fez and Eric followed him. "Man, I can't believe that they're going to waste their money on a stupid disco where they could buy a really big bag…" Hyde started but then Mr. Forman turned to look at him. "Of caramels." Hyde corrected as he was about to leave.

"Not going to the disco, huh?" Red asked Hyde. "No. Phony people listening to crappy music does not sound like my type." Hyde said and Red turned to face him. "You can't dance, can you?" Red asked with a smirk. "I can dance." Hyde said, lying. "Oh, I don't think so, pal." Red said, seeing through his lie. He kept up with the facade until he cracked.

"Well, you got a problem, son. Because women want to dance. They always want to dance. Always." Red said, thinking back to what happened at breakfast. "Why?" Hyde asked. "Because, they get close and wiggle their bodies around in front of a man in a safe atmosphere." Red said. "Well, I don't want to wiggle around in public." Hyde said. "You're a man. My point is that you're going to have to learn or else later on in life, you're going to be wiggling all by yourself. Now, if you want, I can help you out." Red advised.

His idea was to have Kitty teach him how to dance. Unbeknownst to the two, Bob and Midge Pinciotti think that Kitty might be having an affair with Hyde. After the dance lessons, Hyde made up the decision on going to the disco.

Hey, maybe they might play rock music for a change or he can dance with a certain Emerson Pinciotti.

 **EMMA'S POV:**

Tonight was the night that we were all going to the disco. We were all standing on the Formans driveway. My mom and Mrs. Forman were on the driveway too. "Alright. Let's take some pictures. Let's smush together and big smiles." Mrs. Forman said as she took the picture. I was standing in between Donna and Hyde. "Now, girls, look how pretty smiles." Mrs. Forman said as she took a picture of Jackie, Donna, and I with me standing on the other side of Donna. "Now, boys, oh, so handsome." Mrs. Forman said as she took the picture of Fez, Hyde, Eric, and Kelso.

"Hey, mom. Why don't I take a picture of you?" Eric asked. "No, no, no. You'll be late. Bye, now." Mrs. Forman said as we were all piling into the car. From the corner of my eye, I saw Hyde kiss Mrs. Forman on the cheek and he got into the car and I sat on his lap.

What the hell was that all about?

We made it to the disco and we were just watching Kelso dance and it was...interesting. Jackie, however, was not amused and thought that he was having a seizure so she left for a little bit to get something for him to bite on. She came back and Kelso finally noticed that she came back. "Jackie, where'd you go?" Kelso asked, taking his seat in between Jackie and I. "I had to go get something for you to bite on, 'cause I told everyone that you were having a seizure." Jackie said.

"When do they play the disco music?" Fez asked. "This is disco music." I said to him. "No, this is Samba." Fez said. "Fez, it's disco, man. It's crap." Hyde said. "Oh, I think I like this crap." Fez said as he stood up. "Come, Jackie. Let's get down." Jackie said. "No, I think I'm a little tired." Jackie said before giving a look to Kelso, and Fez grabbed her chin to face him. "Don't resist me, mama. It's boogie time." he said as he pulled Jackie out of her seat and onto the dance floor.

"I think you just lost your date." Donna said. "Yeah, well, it's cool because Jackie and I are HISTORY!" Kelso said, shouting the last part out. "They are kicking ass out there!" I exclaimed as I saw the impressive dance between Fez and Jackie. "She must not weigh that much." Eric said during one of the moves. "She touching his ass?" Kelso asked during another move. Then, the song changed.

"Listen, meringue." Fez said as he led Jackie to a further part of the dance floor. "Whoo! Fez, you're crazy!" Jackie exclaimed. "Wow, they are really good." Eric said. "Yeah, if you want to dance that way." Kelso said, bitterly. "I would love to dance that way." I said. "You wanna dance?" I heard Hyde ask me. "Sure." I said with a smile as he grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor.

We started to dance and he was really good. "I have never seen this side of you before." I said. "Yeah, you actually are my first dance." Hyde said. "Well, to tell you the truth, you are my first dance as well." I said. "So the both of us should feel honored I suppose?" he asked. "I guess so." I said with a small laugh. "This is nice." he commented and it did feel nice. "Emma, man, I feel like I wanna kiss you." he said as he dipped me. He picked me back up and twirled me around so that our noses are touching. "You don't have to kiss me back if you don't want to." he said and I could feel his breath against my lips. "Let's just continue dancing." I said as we danced the night away.


End file.
